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I've found my self thinking recently about the effects age has on a relationship, and how soon things move forward. Is marrying young really foolish, and possibly risking ruining your relationship? Is it really best to wait for marriage, even if you're certain he's the one?
When we hear of young couples - 21 and under, or even under 25, perhaps - getting married, we also tend to hear somewhere a long the way, the comment that they are too young. But does age really make a difference in the realms of love? Are you really less likely to screw it up if you are 31 then 21? Are you really more sure of your love because you are older? What makes love at a young age, any less real?
Likewise, when the couple hasn't been together for a few years yet, people seem to think they are rushing this. But again, if you're sure, why wait? If you believe you love someone at six months, why wait the extra few years 'just to be safe'? As far as I know, love is supposed to be about taking risks, going with your instincts, and following your heart, not your head. And if you're meant to be, you're meant to be.
My grandparents are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary later this month. They were 21 when they got married, and had been together just six months. And now, fifty years down the line, it is just as apparent they are in love as they were all that time a go. They knew straight away that they were meant to spend the rest of their lives together, and they were right. And back then, they weren't judged as harshly as you would be today, young marriages were more accepted. So when did we become so sceptical? When did we stop believing in love at first sight?
My parents also got married when my mother was 21, and after they had been together just 6 months. They spent the best part of twenty years together, and only at the very end did things turn sour, and neither of them regret a thing, nor believe their young and early marriage had anything to do with their eventual break up. They too believe it was love at first sight.
My partner and I have only been together about six months, and I have never been more certain of anything than I am that we are meant to be together. Having been friends for two years before we eventually got together has most definately made a difference to the relationship we have now, but we still always wanted more than friendship. I knew from the first time I met him I wanted to be with him, and I have now discovered - two years later - he felt exactly the same, it just took a long time (and a slight aid of alcohol!) for him to finally confess to me. Since that night I am the happiest I have been in my life. The last six months have been a magical experience full of love, laughter and smiles.
A few weeks after we got together he took me to Kent to meet the family, and told me as we lay in bed on the first night, that he loved me. As the world's greatest smile spread across my face, I repeated the same words back to him, and I think we both knew in that moment that we both wanted to spend the rest of our lives together. In the following months our chosen topic quickly changed to me moving in with him - which happened a few months ago, and more recently to marriage. He's already taken to calling me by his surname, and is always sending me messages about us getting married and spending our lives together. And although in the past I would never have rushed like this, I really do believe it is one of those things, where you just know. You know in the bottom of your heart if a relationship is really right. You feel it in every touch and look, and the way you feel when you're together, and when you're parted. Something inside of you just tells you when you know you've met the one. And my heart, mind and soul are telling me that my man ticks all the boxes. I have not a single doubt that he is my soulmate or that our relationship will last.
So why have we lost faith in love at first sight? Why do we judge people who have such faith in love that they don't want to wait? Isn't that the point? I think that most of us could do with taking a step back from our logical thinking and listen to our hearts a bit more. Because from what I hear and know, it tends to be when you think too much about things, and ignore your heart, that your relationship tends to start falling apart. I believe we all need to have faith in the way we feel, and not be scared of falling in love. Because if we don't truely take the risk and give our hearts whole, then we can never truely experience the wonders of being in love. After all, true love is giving someone your heart so truely, you give them the ability to crush it, yet you trust them not to.
